An Angry Guy's Guide by Hal Marcovitz

Author:Hal Marcovitz [ Marcovitz, Hal]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781622930012
Publisher: Enslow Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2015-03-14T16:00:00+00:00

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CHAPTER SIX

I’m Not Taking It Anymore!

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Ryan is a lot bigger than Alex, even though they are the same age. Ryan is also very competitive, and he is angry with Alex for getting the top grades in science. Last month, he started insulting the smaller boy, calling him a “nerd” whenever he passed him in the hall. Yesterday, at the end of science lab, Ryan stole Alex’s backpack and tossed it in the trash when no one was looking.

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School bullies make life miserable for the kids they target. They want to hurt their victims, and typically do so with verbal and physical aggression. This includes using taunts, insults, and name-calling that typically focuses on appearance—weight, height, or clothing, for example. Bullying may also involve spreading rumors or gossiping at school and over the Internet. It can include intimidating or frightening the victim into doing what the bully wants—such as turning over money or telling answers to homework or tests. And it may involve pushing, shoving, and hitting.

Typically, bullies act the way they do in order to feel power—to feel that they are better than the kids they are picking on. Bullies may attack because they are angry that they are not as good at something as their victim is. Or they may feel justified in terrorizing someone else because they feel angry over some real or imagined insult. Other times, they bully because they are prejudiced—that is, they have decided they don’t like a person because of his or her specific race, religion, or ethnicity. They express their anger toward a racial, religious, or ethnic group by beating up, harassing, or teasing a person who is a member.

Sometimes, a bully is frustrated with problems at home or at school and takes out his anger on a younger, weaker person. Psychologists call this “displaced anger”—when anger is directed at someone who has had nothing to do with the situation. Displaced anger can also turn victims of bullies into bullies themselves, if they take out their frustrations on someone smaller and weaker than them.

In addition to being angry at the person who is tormenting him, the victim of a bully can feel a range of other unsettling emotions that may last over weeks, months, and even years. One of the strongest is fear, accompanied by constant worry and anxiety, that the bully will embarrass him with taunts and jeers or even carry out threats of physical violence. Other unbearable feelings can include shame and guilt—and a sense of helplessness—over the victim’s lack of ability to change the situation.

Feelings of anger resulting from being bullied can lead to serious problems. In some cases, anger directed at a bully can lead the victim to plot ways to get revenge. However, this course of action won’t solve any issues and often results in additional pain and troubles. Just as serious can be the problems that result when anger is directed within—when the victim of bullying is furious with himself for not being “strong enough” or “brave enough” to fight back.

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